Kelly Ripa is Gross!!!!

I was just eating my Grape Nuts and accidentally watching Live with Kelly & Regis and I just about vomited all over myself. Why?? What did I see that made my mouth start that pre-hurl watering?? Kelly Ripa has beef jerkey arms!!  What the Eff is going on? She has those skinny, muscular arms that look like she's doing about 4000 push ups a day in jail. They look just like Madonna's arms. So, not only does she have beef jerkey arms, she showcases them, proudly. I asked my wife if she goes sans sleeves every day and wifey confirmed that, yes, Mrs. Ripa wears fewer sleeves than a Nascar convention. Watch the show. Watch how she constantly maintains certain postures that allow for maximum flexing. Keep an eye on her wild gesticulations and count how many of them involve holding her arms up so she can flex. She loves those guns! I thought my 14 year old son was bad but he's got nothing on the Ripper. She subjects her audience to more gun shows than the entire state of Montana. All she needs is a sleeveless denim jacket, a thin mustache and a 72' Camaro to complete the ensemble. Thanks a lot Kelly, I used to absolutely love beef jerkey. At one point I even bought a dehydrator to make my own. Beef jerkey used to be a staple in our home. Shopping list=milk, eggs, JERKEY. Now I'll never be able to put a piece of that salty spicy goodness in my mouth without thinking of cheesy morning tv.

What the EFF!?!?

Deuces

Check out those pipes man! EEWWW

Welcome

Welcome friends, fellow haters and all others. This blog was created because I tend to go off on rants. My wife says I'm driving her crazy, so, for the well-being of my marriage, I'll expound volumes of hate and rationings of love all over this bitch (the internet; not sure the gender but everyone seems to think everything not human is female; boats, cars, et al.). Now, for clarification, I don't really hate Rachel Ray. I don't even know her but I do hate her on-screen persona. This is something I have been saving for a really really long time but it's a perfect example of the type of subject I'll be hating on, vigarously. I also love things and will from time to time share that, because I believe in that circular Chinese half and half symbol thingy. I ask you to participate by sharing your hates and loves; I'll act as a Commissioner of Taste and either give love or hate to your submission.

I feel a hate rant coming on very soon...

Deuces